Well that was extremely MOVIE-ing..

Speaking of CINEMAtters..

Everyone has that one family member

You know what i'm talking about

the one that you love to hate to watch any sort of movie with..

well in my case EVERYONE of my kin falls into that catagory

in some way or another

and admittedly it might (but probably not) be partly due to me

after-all i have a hard time

NOT

playing peanut gallery

To begin my little analysis i'm gonna start with my familys head honcho

JOKE

That's more like it..

Okay so this lovely lady is Moo Moo

lover of all things Pixar

she is not THAT bad to watch movies with..

as in

 while they are still going

 immediately after they end can be a different story

IF

the movie was set in the south, deep south, anywhere near the southern states,  any character had even a HINT of a southern accent, or if fried chicken and/or collard greens was any part of the movie..

let's be clear..

 my mother is from NORTHERN Idaho

(which ps. is different from Idaho as a whole.. it should really be it's own state) 

she was raised no where near the southern east coast

so we're really not sure why she likes to go through the following 2 weeks seemingly possessed by Della Maes backwoods inbred cousin Cleetus..

we're not even sure if her accent is Southern or Retard..

all we know is it's kinda like a Miley Cyrus movie

as soon as it STARTS we want it to STOP..

'Dad' you not asked a million questions you'd have never figured it out..

oh wait you still don't get it..

or as we sometimes call him

Curious George

unless he started the movie with you & pays close attention

his questions will be endless & he still will usually not 'get it' by the end of the movie..

however he doesn't just leave it at the credits

no

he'll take it with him & ponder it for a few days, trying to make sense of it

 and then days later he'll bring it up & spell out the already spelled out movie..

at least he's persistant!! he always figures it out

EVENTUALLY!!

also..

he actually likes LOUIS LAMOURE movies..

as in the books weren't enough for him to realize

'holy heck i've read this same story 50 times over'

NOPE

he has to WATCH that same song and dance too..

(be honest people.. reading more than one of his books is like

wiping before you poop

it don't make sense..)

Coley coley trolly bumholey

where do i start with this poser

(sidenote: she wants to be me.. she doesn't even know it.. but i'm like her hero)

actually she is probably my most favorite person to watch stuff with

she is an excellent addition to my peanut gallery

her only flaw is she doesn't like watching traggic love stories

which doesn't fly

cause they are like my favey

(i'm a sadist)

also.. she is superb at movie quotes..

especially of the Disney Genre

(yes i'm giving them their own genre)

& she can remember the names of even the smallest insignificant characters

(yes sometimes i wonder if she is slightly autistic & thats her tell..that & phone numbers) 

Philly-Cheesy-Movie-Loving-Steak

yup.. this nutsucks included in this blog too.. seeing as he's part of our gene pool now.. can't keep him out.. can't hold him down

Phillbilly's achilles heel is he likes any movie..

okay that's a bit of a broad overstatement

Phil likes any movie that any NORMAL self-respecting human wouldn't..

as long as there are fast cars, big explosions, bad accents, impossible fight sequences, & next to no plot

he is one happy camper..

oh and he loves the movie

p.s i love you

(which triggers my involuntary gag reflex)

Bomo

the piece de resistance

the biggest reason for this seemingly reasonless blog

BROOKEY COOKIE..

okay so brooke has selective goldfish syndrome..

she can watch a movie

NO LESS

 than 100 times.. 

yet anytime she watches said movie it's as if it's a new experience for her ENTIRELY..

this is best exemplified when she watched horror films..

the whole time she'll be like

'IS HE BEHIND THE DOOR???!', 'DON'T GO IN THERE HE MIGHT BE IN THE SHOWER', 'ITS HIM ISN'T IT? HE'S THE BAD GUY HUH???'

(remember she's already seen this movie multiple times)

or i always love it when she cheers on the characters

"RUN RUN RUN!! GO GO GO!! HURRY YOU CAN MAKE IT!'

when NO..

 they can't make it..

 they won't make it this time just as they haven't made it the last 10 times..

she really has a reoccuring problem with giving the characters false hope..

..dream killer..

'Ben' is this getting over?

Ben, while also being very adept at movie quote battles, is very poor at being the butt of most of our cinema related jokes..

which is ridiculous cause we are obvi hilarious..

but trust that this is no fault of ours

he needs to learn to suck it up

and take multiple hits for the team..

it's kind of hard to really put a finger on what makes it hard to watch movies with Ben..

mostly cause he watches few movies with us

us=his family

he mostly avoids us like we are the plague

(the plague of awesomeness)

roly poly OLY!

Orephia..

Lyv likes to fight me on watching movies she's never even heard of..

she usually moans and groans & throws in multiple

'this movie looks gay', 'amy i don't want to watch this, & "i already hate it'

before the previews even have a chance to be viewed..

however

she normally ends up liking the movies

(not all of them but most)

also

she can be extremely loud and mobile during slasher flicks..

for loooooooooong periods of time..

it get's to the point where you're like

'she's definetly used up her entire oxygen supply so how is she still making noise?'

even the characters in the movie are like

'chill small blond girl!'

lastly

she's made a habit of asking me key plot questions that could potentially spoil the ending

over and over until i answer her..

AND THEN

 she gets upset at me for telling her..

making me the bad movie buddy

(i just give people what they want)

giver-for-life!

Spank the Plank

unorthodox FAM rocks..

so tonight we're all sitting around being related & such..

well i guess not phil..

he was here by default

(when i say default i mean he married my sister)

so, you see, no blood relation

(we keep him around mainly for reproductive purposes via my sister.. they've done really well so far & we'd like more like Gabe.. eventually)

i realize it WAS a monday night

so according to Mormon culture

monday night=FHE

we didn't label it or make it formal

(but i'm gonna say it was an unofficial FHE..)

so we're all watching 'the biggest loser'

(lots of fatties breathing hard & shaking lard)

they're exercising.. being sweaty.. looking miserable

& in the midst of this perspiration & sadness comes

THE PLANK!!

so i look at Ben & ask if he is even capable of doing the plank..

not really waiting for a response

i then may or may not (or may) have trash talked him

saying that i could 'out-plank' him

he then told me i can't even do the plank

(referencing my convex midsection as the reason for my inability to perform)

i of course scoff at him & immediately show him i CAN infact plank

(2 points for the preggers team)

so then we decide that we are going to have a little healthy competition..

so Phil, Coley, Ben, Lyv, & Myself all position ourselves around the living room

and the well-being promoting battle commenced

so we're battling the bulge

people on TV are battling the bulge (a much bigger bulge but a bulge nonetheless)

the bulge doesn't stand a chance..

admittedly our refs (mom, dad, gabe)

had to tell some of us to 'put our butts down' so that we were in

PROPER FORM..

but all in all everything is going well

but eventually Coley falls

(she just had a baby 3 months ago.. & it was a rough pregnancy)

shortly thereafter Ben goes down

(he did NOT have a baby 3 months ago & will never have a pregnancy)

Phil then wants to make it interesting and says

SIDEPLANK!

so the remaining three

(Lyv, myself, & Phil)

one arm it..

i then see Lyv cheating by means of using her other arm to help prop herself up..

so i take my free arm & push her cheating apendage away..

causing her to fall over

Lyv is now OUT!

so now it's just me & Phil

aka: the final countdown

aka: the babies conceived in the 80's, born in the 90's

aka: shit just got real

and neither one of us is backing down..

we stay propped up all Side saddle like for a while longer

UNTIL

i say 'nuts to this' & shift back to the

good old-fashioned

so then we're still there fighting the good fight

(ps realize it has turned into a pretty lengthy competition at this point)

at this point I'm starting to feel really warm, my belly is really flexed..

Phil's camo shorts are FAR up his crack & his butt cheeks are clenched

(my mom is asking me to please not go into labor over this)

but now is not the time to worry about a birthing!

now is DO or DIE & neither of us want to lose..

well

 eventually one of us has to falter..

where there is a winner there must also be a loser..

so Phil went down and i WON!

amy rules & phil drools

THE END!

joke!!

you're right it didn't happen that way..

actually i finally dropped down & subsequently made Phil victorious

(ps as it turns out i didn't have to go down that far seeing as my belly cleared the floor by AN INCH)

but i put up a good amount of effort..

he can feel good about his 1st place finish knowing he had to work for it..

and NO.. i didn't balance on my belly to secure my 2nd place finish

(i wasn't going to be a bad mother & use my baby to cheat my way to the top

..almost top..)

i got there all by my-36 weeks pregnant-self!

doing what i do

reppin all the baby mama's

so there you have it

my LENGTHY retelling of seemingly mundane family activities

all in all SUCCESFUL UNOFFICIAL FHE!!!

peace & blessings y'all:)

ps.. in case any were wondering i listened to my moo moo & didn't send myself into labor!

FEET ARE SWEET:)

DIRTY DOGS!

So..

like any other normal female i'd like to think that i have a pair of average feet
10 toes

borderline ticklish

loves slippers, flippy floppys, and fresh mowed grass

tend to reak like old cheese if they get shoved into tennis shoes sans socks..

oh and BUGLY..

(cause lets be honest feet are kinda like pugs..

cute in a mostly ugly way)

so you know..

NORMAL..

well MOSTLY

my feet NEVER seem to callous..

my heels are just scars from blisters that

come, pop, rejuice, pop, dissappear, then come again..

it's a vicious never ending cycle

so now that i've given you that lovely little inside into my orthopedic history

(you're welcome ps)

i MUST however commend them for having a higher than norm pain tolerance..

a HUGE bonus

considering i would be substancially heftier

if i couldn't

chronically abuse them..

seriously though, if i waited for every blister to heal before jumping back on the horse

or in this case treadmill

i'd work out about once a week..

and thats lame sauce..

however sometimes it has drawbacks..

such as..

i don't know when to stop..

i always just push them until my goal is accomplished..

an example of this happening a few weeks ago..

i rode to IF with my mom, for appointments,
 the Wednesday evening prior to that fateful Thursday

and when Moo had to fly out early the next morning for work

she just drove herself in the van to the airport and parked it

intending for me to get a ride from my Aunt Dene later in the day

so that i may have a mode of transportation

however when it came time for Van Retrieval

i decided that i might as well just walk from my Aunt's house..

cause it was only like 2 miles..

it was a FEW MORE THAN A FEW..

so there was my FIRST brain fart..

when i went to put on my shoes designated for this type of activity
 i remembered my tennis shoes were in said van

naturally in their ergonomically correct place

i put on my leather 'wannabe-biker' books
(i try to make pregnancy look more Bad A than it is..)

there lies my SECOND brain fart..

and it looked fairly mild outside so i went with minimum winter wear for my trek

enter THIRD brain fart

the one day that Idaho decided it wanted to man up

and have a day kinda like a Wyoming winter..

lets just state for the record by the time i reached my destination

i couldn't feel most of my body..

(they look cozy compaired to how i felt)

so basically a lot of brain fartage went on in a short amount of time..

so i set off on my adventure

looking

SUPER FLY

sweats tucked into knee high biker boots, a lime green puffy coat that makes me look even more rotund than i currently am, fluffy patterened earmuffs, and

ONE RED GLOVE..

(cause i couldn't find it's significant other)

(yes i did in fact look as homo-rific as all the people in the picture above)

it's such a mystery why no one pulled over to offer a ride..

...hmmm..

so i'm walking.. walking and losing feeling..but making progress

and all goes well for the first mile.. mile & 1/2..

and then my right foot starts to hurt..

NBD

we're almost there..

but no.. no we are not almost there

and soon my left foot starts to feel some discomfort as well

and the right foots suffering only increases..

i then get to the point in my journey where i

VAGUELY

remember a short cut..

so i am faced with a decision..

continue on the path i know FOR SURE

OR

take a GAMBLE and arrive at destination sooner

my feet are crying a little bit..

i'm already startin to do the geezer lean at this point

so i decide to take the path less traveled..

not my best idea

(not my worst either)

i. get. lost.

i end up having to back track a couple times

all the while the suffering in my boots is

INTENSIFYING SIGNIFICANTLY..

i am finally able to locate a way out of hellish suburban labrynth

and back out onto the main road i would have taken anyways

had i stayed true to the course..

palm. face.

so i'm ALMOST back on track

my dogs are barking so loud

 i. want. to. cry

not sure if i was able to hold back my tears

OR

if it was too cold for them to leave my eyes & they just froze before they could make an exit

??????

but all the sudden i feel something go

POP

in my right boot..

i kinda pause

and for a moment

i. am. relieved.

cause in my head whatever was hurting is now gone and all will be well

well..

all was NOT well..

and the pain is now worst..

but i have no other option but to push onward..

(if HUNT & EDWARDS stopped would they have beaten LEWIS & CLARK to the Pacific Ocean?? i submit they would NOT!!)

(white water in the morning.. and.. thats it!)

so i'm now hobbling along at sloth pace..

i'm actually more like doing a weird IGOR drag my right foot shuffle thing..

and i still have a mile to go..

but i close the distance slowly but surely..

i finally make it to the employee parking lot..

when i arrive my heart involuntarily sinks a bit..

because MOO always parks nearest the exit..

except for today.. when she parked as far from it as she possibly could have..

which added only 100 ft to my trek..

but when something on your foot has

POPPED

100 ft is a big dang deal..

Man Van has never been so lovely to me than at the moment when i turned the key in her ignition and cranked that heater

( i mean trips to state wrestling, and hog-tying Olyvia with braided walmart sacks & gagging her with a bikini top on a family vaca are close seconds but nothing compares to being able to simply sit down after seemingly walking 1000 miles)

when my fingers regained some dexterity i was finally able to remove my boots and discover

not so surprisingly

2 bloody socks..

do i care though at this moment??
NOT. AT. ALL

once again i am just happy to be on my rear end..

i change outta those knee high leather torture devices
and i am back in action

.. well with a slight limp..

later that night i take a bath & finally remove my bloody socks

(yes i wore them the rest of my day color me gross)

and upon closer inspection i find 5 blisters, 1 cut, and

ONE MISSING TOENAIL..

sick nasty poo poo..

i was okay with all of it until i found out about my little fallen soldier..

and then i was mostly just sicked out..

mostly..

BUT 

don't think i did all that for nothing

a. i had a car.

and

b. when i had about .3 miles left i looked down on the sidewalk and what did i see

a crumpled germy dolla dolla bill y'all

making my missing toenail not all for naught!!
moral of my journey:
don't wear leather biking boots in subarctic tempuratures to make a 5 mile journey..
cause while you think your tootsies are about as ugly as they could possibly get right now
as is
 let me tell you
YOU. ARE. WRONG
and something so small & seemingly insignificant as
ONE toenail M.I.A
 makes a
HUGE
difference in their overal appearence!

be good to your dogs:)
NOW TO WRAP THINGS UP
here are a few things that are ALL better looking than feet!
ENJOY;)

DO AS I SAY NOT AS I'VE DONE.

DO as i SAY.. NOT as i've DONE!

 

This is a blog post for the ladies.

Ladies some of you out there are with boys that do not treat you well.

For some of you this might be a recent development.

For others this may be a reoccuring trend.

To both of those situations i say

'GET OUT'

When i say this i am not implying it will never work out. It very well might.

But if it does in fact work out, will you be happy if things stay the same way they are right now.

In THIS moment?

If not then distance yourself. Until that person in question learns to treat you the way you deserve to be treated & gains respect for you.

 I KNOW how hard this is.

But as hard as it is you need to find a way to

LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN HIM.

That may sound impossible but trust me when i say it is necessary.

Cause one day he may not be there, & you will want to fall apart.

You will need to be strong if this happens & have some love for yourself so you don't destroy yourself.

I am still learning how to do this.

But i work on it everyday. I guess it's easier for me to refrain from self loathing to too far of an extent at this point in time because i HAVE to take care of myself.

I CANNOT let myself fall apart & i CANNOT give up

because i'm responsible for another human being besides myself

Some of you

(MOST I HOPE)

won't have this same excuse to keep it together.

But really

You CANNOT change him. You CANNOT make him treat you right. You CANNOT make him care.

And this has NOTHING to do with you.

It has EVERYTHING to do with him.

And the choices he makes.

Yes, he CHOOSES to do this too.

He will tell you, you deserve better than what he gives you. That he needs to do better.

BUT words without actions are worth about 2 big brown shits.

There is nothing you CAN or SHOULD have to change about yourself to fix things.

This is NOT YOUR MESS.

If you ever want things to get better though you need to be the one to change.

Cause chances are if he's the one reaping all the benefits

'GETTING his cake and EATING it too'

he is not going to do a DAMN thing to upset the current state of things

Why should he?

He still gets to be 'one of the boys', have all the freedom he could desire, stay in a constant state of carefree, and STILL have you on the side when ever he wants.

He DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU.

He probably tells you he does, and he has probably convinced himself that he might.

BUT trust me when i say this is for his sake.

NOT YOURS

You do not destroy people you care about.

You DESERVE better.

You DESERVE someone who is willing to put in AS MUCH IF NOT MORE than you are.

You DESERVE having every day be YOUR NEW FAVORITE DAY!

So please girls. DO NOT SETTLE.

I'm not saying he's not the one. I sincerly hope that he is your one and only.

However do NOT let him treat you like you are ANYTHING less than amazing.

One and only's are meant to go both ways.

 

 

 

 

PS

Really DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I'VE DONE.

Im 22 years old. Single. And pregnant.

Pretty pregnant

Over 7 months pregnant.

And my pregnancy is rapidly approaching its end.

In some ways this is a relieving thought.

NOT BEING PREGNANT ANYMORE??

FANNNNNNNNTASTIC!

But to be honest it's a more terrifying than anything.

I'm entering my third trimester & i still have

NO IDEA

what i'm going to do..

This is nothing like what i expected my life to be like.

ESPECIALLY

 After meeting the father of our now growing child..

This is DEFINETLY not what i expected my first pregnancy to be.

The single part.

I expected this invasion of my body to be pretty awful

(and it has NOT disappointed)

Especially since the father of my child was with me for 1&1/2 years

No one would have ever guess that though the way he treated me.

People STILL wouldn't believe it if i didn't have evidence sitting heavily on my midsection

Technically we dated for 6 months.

And then i was more or less (or MORE) his

DIRTY LITTLE SECRET

For 12 more months

And I ALLOWED it to happen..

Was i wrong to allow it to happen?

ABSOLUTELY.

And from more than even a religious standpoint.

From the point of being a human being it was wrong to allow that sort of abuse.

Most people look at the word 'abuse' and they think only of the physical form.

Lets be clear that is NOT the kind I speak of.

I allowed him to convince me time and time again he DID care about me.

He WOULD do better.

He WOULD treat me better.

That never happened. And I never pushed for it.

Not REALLY pushed for it anyways.

I was willing to put up with all his excuses if it meant i got to keep him.

I'd let everything slide.

I allowed him to treat me like a second class citizen.

And when we'd screw up morally I'd allow him to treat me like it was my fault.

When his christian guilt would kick in & he'd push me away like i was the reason for all of our sins.

I TOOK it.

And i let him tell me he was

'Sorry for messing up.. again.'

Little did i realize you can make a mistake

ONCE

after that it's a

CHOICE..

Guess what it didn't get better.

And eventually it caught up with us.

Well with ME at first

Honestly I'm still not sure how much of it will really affect him

Some might say we had a good run

(as sick an sadistic as that sounds??)

Our sins didn't catch up with us for a long time

Alas I still ended up pregnant.

Ever so convex and alone..

The biggest problem that led to all this?

I LOVED HIM MORE THAN I LOVED MYSELF

&

 HE DIDN'T LOVE ANYONE BUT HIMSELF..

 

I know

What a pathetic sob story.. brought this upon herself..Who cares(no one probably)

 Blah blah blah

But really ladies

Heed my words

YE BE WARNED

 

 

It won't happen to me.. Until it did..

What to expect.. 

Not exactly what you were expecting..
 

People have been procreating since the dawn of time
Pregnancy is NOT a new happening..
 however up until recently I always viewed it a LOT differently than it actually is.. 

more magical? more glamorous? more glowy? less fat?

WAY FREAKIN EASIER???

perhaps..
 

now most reading this are now wondering

'How could Amy possibly know all this?'
hmmm
well....

 that's right!

I am now a bona fide member of the 'Holy Vessel Hoes'

joke

there isn't actually a club

BUT 

if there was, we'd have jackets

 

Now that I have embarked on this journey known as

PREGNANCY

(where there is only one, yes ONE!!, way out)

 

(childbirth)

(EEEEK!)

 

Now that my secret is not so secret I would like to clear up some common

MISSconceptions 

over the 

"Miracle"

that is known as childbearing..

 

I mean sure

the outcome is wonderful

as long as it's a cute baby, and yes folks, let's be frank

Ugly babies exist!

And they could happen to you

BUT

the road to that screaming poopy bundle of baby

(pregnancy)

and it is a looooong hard one not meant for the faint of heart

which is probably why it is a job specifically for womenfolk..

1. Bleeding gums of the worlds unite!

 

I brush AND floss

regularly

I don't pride myself on many aspects of my hygiene..

BUT

oral hygiene I take Schneriously!

thanks to my wacky hormones anytime I brush my teeth

I look like I just crawled out of an MMA ring

my teeth are so bloody it looks as though I might have just gargled with type O..

Now my toothbrush sesh's feel like a Twilight book..

not quite so bad that they feel like a Twilight movie though..

2. I'm not fat I'm pregnant!

Okay okay so I'm a little fat.. But I'm also with child

I am an admittedly overly healthy eater.. I can take it to scary strict levels

While I've been preggers though I have been more lax

Not that I binge on Cheetos and ice cream 24/7

I have not gone Jessica Simpson with this..

"Uh...i can hear you getting fatter"

 

YET I have still managed to gain a whopping

TWENTY pounds

 

At 7 months I'm not sure if this is good or bad

But at 150 lbs.. I feel like a whale..

A fat whale..

With a badonkadonk that would make Nicki Minaj super jelly!

what can i say i was predispositioned to be a ghetto booty poster child.. thanks mom

 

3. Bladder capacity?? What bladder capacity??

I am on the can

CONSTANTLY

it got better during the 2nd trimester

but at the beginning i should have just moved  my bed into the bathroom..

8 bathroom runs a were a nightly occurance

now that i'm entering the 3rd we'll see how the ole pee bag does..

 

4. But i am le' tired.

Never in my whole life have i needed

SOOO

many naps.. not even when i was little and naps were socially acceptable!

growing another little person is

HARD WORK!

and if i don't get 10 hours of good quality shut eye

 i am as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop..

 

5. BURN BABY BURN

 

i know, i know, it's cliche for a preggers lady to complain about heartburn

but this shit is real..

i avoided it for 5 &1/2 months and then

BAM

my throat is being eated by hellish flames

 

ALSO

my whole life i have always been cold..

UNTIL NOW..

i'm hot all the time

trying to sleep is the worst..

i would probably have better luck at not overheating if i slept naked

if i didn't have such an aversion to my naked body..

just know, when you're knocked up, you will constantly be wondering

who turned the thermostat setting to

HELL

 

6. Achey Breaky BACK

Have you ever had someone kick you repeatedly in the tailbone??

well

pregnancy has more or more the same effect..

(good news i figured out what's causing this agonized back pain.. i'm growing another human being.. i guess that'll put a LITTLE extra strain on your body)

 

7. Smells like Teen Spirit.. only worse..

i have never had a keen sense of smell..

bloodhound i am not

i was the child growing up that when everyone if the class was like

"WHO BEEFED!"

i had to pretend like i smelled it too cause really my nasal cavity wasn't offended

i just didn't want them to think it was me..

HOWEVER

thanks to my condition i have acquired a slightly better sniffer..

but it doesn't apply to all areas..

i still can't smell good smells but oh my heck bad smells have been amplified to unGodly levels..

 

8. Heavy breathing.. NOT just for perverts..

while we're on the subject of noses i must address

STUFFY SINUS..

my nose is always plugged up.. booger production has been kicked into high gear..

so now

thanks to that cute symptom..

 My name is Amy, and i'm a creepy mouth breather

 

9. I can count to POTATO!

pregnancy brain is real folks..

and it affects countless women everyday

at this point i could probably plan a surprise party for myself...

"John Hancock...it's Herbie Hancock"

 

10. The world is a fuzzy place

my vision has gotten

EXCEEDINGLY

worse as my pregnancy has progressed..

night driving?? forget about it..

i mean i still do it

but OBVIOUSLY i haven't always made the smartest decisions (i.e. my baby bump)

 

 

 

11 ..its called reading, top to bottom, left to right, group words together as a sentence, take tylenol for any headaches, midol for any cramps ...

i have suffered chronic headaches my whole pregnancy

only had full blown migraines a few times..

but on most days it feels like elephants are tap dancing with soccer cleats on my brain..

 

 

so there it is

a glimpse into a world that i've now discovered to be

OH SO GLAMOROUS

thanks to good decision making at it's finest

you're welcome PETA

 

 

also

seriously don't touch me... and don't touch my belly..

it's not like you can rub it for good luck..

 

 

FINALLY 

Here is  preg-related media i enjoyed..

..and there goes my childhood...

something doesn't add up..

not everyone was meant for motherhood.. obvi

that's amazazing

this perfectly embodies what every pregnant woman feels like 25/8

pregnancy at it's classiest

preggers plank

good thing she remembered her scarf set.. otherwise she would have look completely ridiculous standing out in the snow..

color me judgemental but.. what kind of a name is 'Junge'?