Helen Keller Jokes - DEAF-initely unacceptable

Not what you think..if i'm thinking what i think you're thinking..i think..

okay.. so judging solely by this blog posts title

 you're probably now thinking that it is

ONLY

going to be about me, being a dick, making fun of the KELLSTER..

WELL YOU'RE WRONG IT'S NOT

i mean come on folks..

that would be extremely

'short-sighted'

of me..

(yes bad puns are my calling)

really though, it's going to be so much more than that

due to my preggers brain

(medical term=stooopid)

i have a hard time focusing on any

ONE

thing to even make a full blog post..

so this is going to be a medley of everything that has been running through my mind today

well..

everything that i can remember

it will be a 'trailmix blogpost' if you will

so..

i am disturbed

not SUPER disturbed

 just

 MODERATELY disturbed..

over cereal ads today

this isn't a recent developement persay

it's just not something that i talk about a lot

mostly cause it's not something that comes up

ORGANICALY

in normal day-to-day conversations

(although admittedly most things that fill my daily oral banterings aren't things that come up organically..)

anyways you may be wondering

'what is Amy's beef with breakfast foods'

well aside from the fact that i can't partake in most of it

a fact that i'm not bitter about

..at all..

i don't like to think of my food as being

CANNIBALISTIC

full of sugar & perservatives while being void of any nutritional value i can live with

HOWEVER

 i find myself slightely horrified over the ever growing number of tv ads featuring

cereal EATING cereal

& it's not even cereal consuming different brands of cereal!

which just adds to the sickness of it all

like sister cereal eating sister cereal

i mean 3rd cousin cereal munching on one eachother MIGHT be more acceptable

but overall it's just not something i'm comfortable with cause

IT'S. NOT. OK

& maybe i'm taking this too far & thinking about this a little more than i should

so judge me if you want

BUT

i don't want to be able to associate ANY part of my morning with the Donner Party..

too soon??

while we're on the subject of commercials

is there really a need to make

EVERY

30 second slot as racially diverse as humanly possible??

admittedly this occurs in MOST commercials today

but i notice ethnicity keeps it's pimp hand especially strong when peddling clogged arteries

let me let you in on a little secret FA(s)TFOOD corperations

you. do. NOT

have to make every promotion as colorful as a box of crayons

people will keep buying your products

America's obesity epidemic has pretty much ensured

you. will. be. successful.

so please..

tone down the color brigade

(however i must admit i LOVE that while trying to fit as many 'flavors' into their ethnic trailmix as possible they always, always, ALWAYS include a GINGER..which in a way including them segregates them even more) 

LASTLY

toilet paper

there is one ad in particular that i'm thinking of

& it's one where there are multiple women

talking about

'what they want from there toilet paper'

& maybe i'm just easy when it comes to my theraputic paper

BUT

all I want from my TP is it to be there when i'm doing my business..

& these ladies are going off talking about how they want theirs to be

dependable, strong, soft..ect. ect..

& in my head i'm thinking are we still talking about bath tissue..

cause it kinda sounds like your confusing your requirements for crapper paper with what you want in a man??

then it gets worst

when one of the paid spokespersons talks about how she wants to

'get clean, while 'staying clean'

as in wipe WITHOUT breaking through

& so then i'm borderline horrified cause i'm wondering

'HOW HARD ARE THESE FEMALES WIPING??'

you're not trying to remove paint!!

YOU NEED NOT BRUTALLY ASSAULT YOURSELF TO GET A SATISFACTORY WIPING!

(why i even have to point this out initiates an inner face palm)

Tonight

(2/19/2013)

was the bi-stake boys church ball championship

i did NOT go watch

mainly cause my little brother doesn't love me & didn't invite me..

a little because being around that many minors makes me feel a tad bit like a

PREDATOR..

(^^^that picture SCREAMS 'surprise adoption' ps^^^)

anyways

AFTON 3RD WARD WON!!

which meant more than my ward is boss

it meant that life in the DeCoria household was good tonight

& honestly it really didn't matter that i didn't go observe

cause i got to listen to Dad & Ben break down the game when they got home

(the depth they can reach when talking about the 

LOOSEST 

form of an athletic undertaking is admirable..) 

well Ben told us that one of our church leaders

(who was the stand in coach for the beginning part of the game)

did something that i found

UNORTHODOX

in church ball

he flat out said

'i don't believe in everyone's a winner, cause there will be ONE winner & ONE loser, so if you play well you're going to get more playing time'

& i really want to air five/knucks the man that said this cause it's absolutely right!

i mean i know it's

CHURCH BALL

& it's meant for everyone to be able to participate

but that doesn't necessarily mean equal playing time..

& honestly human nature dictates

'people like to WIN!'

especially when talking about teenage boys..

(they are soooo moody)

anyways so now we're talking about the whole

how should game time be divided so it's
fair while still sensible
 & Ben seemed a little in disbelief that they are more concerned with
equality than victory

which got the screws in my mind turning

 & i had to stop him & say okay you think it's bad with

BOYS CHURCH BALL?

try

GIRLS CHURCH BALL..

we could have

STEVIE WONDER

& HELEN KELLER

& they would get JUST as much playing time as

any other player on the team

 THEY MAY EVEN GET TO START!!

so there ya have it..

churchball

while it doesn't always make sense to the players

makes a heck of a lot more sense when you got a 'P' instead of a 'V'..

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