DO as i SAY.. NOT as i've DONE!
This is a blog post for the ladies.
Ladies some of you out there are with boys that do not treat you well.
For some of you this might be a recent development.
For others this may be a reoccuring trend.
To both of those situations i say
When i say this i am not implying it will never work out. It very well might.
But if it does in fact work out, will you be happy if things stay the same way they are right now.
In THIS moment?
If not then distance yourself. Until that person in question learns to treat you the way you deserve to be treated & gains respect for you.
I KNOW how hard this is.
But as hard as it is you need to find a way to
LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN HIM.
That may sound impossible but trust me when i say it is necessary.
Cause one day he may not be there, & you will want to fall apart.
You will need to be strong if this happens & have some love for yourself so you don't destroy yourself.
I am still learning how to do this.
But i work on it everyday. I guess it's easier for me to refrain from self loathing to too far of an extent at this point in time because i HAVE to take care of myself.
I CANNOT let myself fall apart & i CANNOT give up
because i'm responsible for another human being besides myself
Some of you
(MOST I HOPE)
won't have this same excuse to keep it together.
You CANNOT change him. You CANNOT make him treat you right. You CANNOT make him care.
And this has NOTHING to do with you.
It has EVERYTHING to do with him.
And the choices he makes.
Yes, he CHOOSES to do this too.
He will tell you, you deserve better than what he gives you. That he needs to do better.
BUT words without actions are worth about 2 big brown shits.
There is nothing you CAN or SHOULD have to change about yourself to fix things.
This is NOT YOUR MESS.
If you ever want things to get better though you need to be the one to change.
Cause chances are if he's the one reaping all the benefits
'GETTING his cake and EATING it too'
he is not going to do a DAMN thing to upset the current state of things
Why should he?
He still gets to be 'one of the boys', have all the freedom he could desire, stay in a constant state of carefree, and STILL have you on the side when ever he wants.
He DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU.
He probably tells you he does, and he has probably convinced himself that he might.
BUT trust me when i say this is for his sake.
You do not destroy people you care about.
You DESERVE better.
You DESERVE someone who is willing to put in AS MUCH IF NOT MORE than you are.
You DESERVE having every day be YOUR NEW FAVORITE DAY!
So please girls. DO NOT SETTLE.
I'm not saying he's not the one. I sincerly hope that he is your one and only.
However do NOT let him treat you like you are ANYTHING less than amazing.
One and only's are meant to go both ways.
Really DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I'VE DONE.
Im 22 years old. Single. And pregnant.
Over 7 months pregnant.
And my pregnancy is rapidly approaching its end.
In some ways this is a relieving thought.
NOT BEING PREGNANT ANYMORE??
But to be honest it's a more terrifying than anything.
I'm entering my third trimester & i still have
what i'm going to do..
This is nothing like what i expected my life to be like.
After meeting the father of our now growing child..
This is DEFINETLY not what i expected my first pregnancy to be.
The single part.
I expected this invasion of my body to be pretty awful
(and it has NOT disappointed)
Especially since the father of my child was with me for 1&1/2 years
No one would have ever guess that though the way he treated me.
People STILL wouldn't believe it if i didn't have evidence sitting heavily on my midsection
Technically we dated for 6 months.
And then i was more or less (or MORE) his
DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
For 12 more months
And I ALLOWED it to happen..
Was i wrong to allow it to happen?
And from more than even a religious standpoint.
From the point of being a human being it was wrong to allow that sort of abuse.
Most people look at the word 'abuse' and they think only of the physical form.
Lets be clear that is NOT the kind I speak of.
I allowed him to convince me time and time again he DID care about me.
He WOULD do better.
He WOULD treat me better.
That never happened. And I never pushed for it.
Not REALLY pushed for it anyways.
I was willing to put up with all his excuses if it meant i got to keep him.
I'd let everything slide.
I allowed him to treat me like a second class citizen.
And when we'd screw up morally I'd allow him to treat me like it was my fault.
When his christian guilt would kick in & he'd push me away like i was the reason for all of our sins.
I TOOK it.
And i let him tell me he was
'Sorry for messing up.. again.'
Little did i realize you can make a mistake
after that it's a
Guess what it didn't get better.
And eventually it caught up with us.
Well with ME at first
Honestly I'm still not sure how much of it will really affect him
Some might say we had a good run
(as sick an sadistic as that sounds??)
Our sins didn't catch up with us for a long time
Alas I still ended up pregnant.
Ever so convex and alone..
The biggest problem that led to all this?
I LOVED HIM MORE THAN I LOVED MYSELF
HE DIDN'T LOVE ANYONE BUT HIMSELF..
What a pathetic sob story.. brought this upon herself..Who cares(no one probably)
Blah blah blah
But really ladies
Heed my words
YE BE WARNED