Monday, March 7, 2011

Great to be a Guy!

Okay so I created my ‘Reason’s Women are Superior’ list & as expected there were those of you out there that got your panties in a wad over the whole thing.. so I have comprised a list of reasons it’s ‘Great to be a Guy’.. the male gender has some pretty cool benefits associated with having a wang & I am woMAN enough to admit it so here goes..

‎1.You can pee standing up.. the world is you’re urinal

2. On that note, you can also write your name (& a variety of other things) in the snow

3.You can help create life until your basically on death’s doorstep (in the words of 90 yr old Porter Norman Rockwell 'this pencils still got a lot of lead'.. I know.. WHORK!!!)

4.Drama free!! (For the most part)

5. No make-up!! You guys can shit, shower & (kinda) shine in 10 flat

6. Faster metabolisms.. & if you retain water it’s in a canteen

7. You don’t hold onto dumb things for no reason.. you can forgive AND forget.. also you don’t read into & over think every tiny detail

8. Men never have to shave below the neck.. a small margin compared to all the fur that women have to take off in order to be accepted by society

9. Men tend to have higher incomes even when doing the EXACT same job as their female counterpart

10. No boobs=no bras=no strap marks=no sore backs..

11. Less likely to be hassled by weirdo’s.. (to many of your dismay)

12. Childbirth.. & pregnancy really.. your part in procreation is a mere blink when looking at the scheme of things..

13. If you sleep around you’re curious (& grossly stud-like??).. if I sleep around I’m a skeezy crack whore

14. Religions favor you.. as do many world cultures..

15 Movie nudity.. almost always female.. & when it is male it’s usually not worth watching

16. Bathroom lines are 80% shorter (that percentage may or MAY have been pulled out of thin air).. also you don’t need a posse to be able to make a succesful trip to the crapper

17. Pack lighter.. you can make it a week on one bag

18. You never HAVE to fake it..

19. If another guy shows up to a party wearing the EXACT same outfit it results in high fives and sometimes even a life-long friendship.. (if that happens to women we hold a grudge equal to a low-budget Asian horror flick)

20. You don’t HAVE to wear high heels, make sure you can fit into your skinny jeans, &/or willingly strap your girls into modern-day torture devices (pushup bras)

21. Sit with legs wide open..all the time

22. If you hit 30 & you’re still not anywhere near the LAST legal (& widely socially acceptable form) of slavery: marriage.. nobody wonders what’s wrong with you.. if a woman hits mid to late twenties with NO possible prospects on the horizon (a lot of the time by CHOICE) people automatically assume we're on a one-way street to cat-lady land..


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